These folks look like they are just full of Christmas Spirit!
Another week, another more lengthy list of things that drive me crazy. As I said last week, the December whines will all be about Christmas and everything that is wrong with it. This really started with the discussion of Black Friday in November, but you get the point.
This week I’ve seen crazy lines in places like Walgreen’s and Target, I’ve waited at lights in Crossroads Shopping Center for a total of four hours and I’ve seen the online deadline for ordering before Christmas come and go. Luckily, I ordered my little brothers Oakland Raiders football uniform just in time. Don’t ask, it’s a long story.
I also got plenty of feedback from last week’s discussion of Christmas car decorations and painful Christmas music. An anonymous friend of mine had some of the best suggestions in her comment last Wednesday and even pointed out a Santa vs. Macy’s lawsuit.
What about awful Christmas themed outfits? What about that one person in the crowd of every Christmas activity that has to say something about Hanukkah? Or in the hopes of not alienating any costumers, it is now the “Holiday Season” and you can’t say “Merry Christmas” but “Happy Holidays?” The profusion of Christmas movies that have very little to do with Christmas and more to do with cute talking animals?
Those are all extremely valid topics which will be discussed, but not today. Today I’d like to talk a little bit about gift giving and receiving. More specifically, the process of gift giving and receiving.
Buying the perfect gift
Should I get the red plaid pajamas or the blue ones? Does Dad need more socks? What about Grandma, would a Talbot’s gift card be alright? Surely Jimmy needs another sweater, or five?
Thanks to the ridiculous amount of pressure put on everyone to find that “perfect gift,” Christmas shopping turns into a pressure packed process of finding that gift instead of what is should be, a time to get someone something they actually need.
And what about buying for that special person in your life? You know, the one person who you actually care about getting the right gift for. You can’t get a gift that is too serious because you aren’t married, but you can’t get something cheesy because you aren’t in middle school. If I had any hair, I’d pull it out. Maybe I’ll just go browse.
Opening the wrong gift
Since this is one of my favorite things about Christmas, I guess I don’t technically hate it, but it’s going in here because it’s funny.
You’ve all seen the face, whether it’s from a friend or some family member who you are forced to see three days a year. The “what the heck is this face” followed by an over the top “This is just what I wanted!” And then said family member holds up whatever the awful gift is for everyone else in the room to see and react to. “Oh it’s so pretty. I love that color. I almost got that for myself.” And so on. Then, within about four minutes, the worst gift of the year is buried under wrapping paper and other, better gifts, never to see the light of day again.
It happens way more than it should. But it goes back to the earlier discussion of buying the right gift. Nobody knows what the heck they are doing anyway, so they just go to the mall, buy crap, wrap it up real nice (or in my case have someone at the mall wrap it up real nice) and hope for the freaking best.
What is the worst gift you’ve gotten in the last five years? The better half told me her Dad got her Mom a scale recently. That has to be near the top of the list, along with all the overpriced vacuums, pots and pans and bathrobes husbands buy every year.
Here are some responses from Twitter about the worst gifts.
@wxmoosechris: A used Trapper Keeper
@jjtapia: A paper weight in the shape of a baseball mit
@J_c76: Girls socks. Thanks Grandma!
@willbigcatjones: Women’s UNC socks from my Grandmother
@clarkska_: just about everything I get from my in-laws every year?
Continuing with the National Lampoon’s theme from earlier, why not just go with the Jelly of the Month Club.
Re-gifting the wrong gift
First, I’d like to thank Jerry Seinfeld, Elaine Benes and Tim Watley for bringing the art of re-gifting to the forefront. Secondly, has anyone ever done this? Regardless of how much I hated a gift, I don’t think I could pawn it off on someone else. That is just mean. Funny as hell, but mean.
To those of you who have re-gifted, how did you do it? What was the item? And most importantly, did you get away with it?
Stay tuned for much more next week. Since the whine will be just a couple of days before Christmas, I’ll be sure to get every other topic out of the way. It might be book length. I’ll leave you with another of my favorite Christmas songs. I hope everyone has a blessed week fighting traffic with all the other procrastinating shoppers.
When I saw the part about re-gifting, even though it doesn’t really count, I immediately thought about people who go buy tons of gift sets at Walmart or Target the day after Christmas. You know what I’m talking about–lotion and knock off perfume sets, hot chocolate kits, ect. I guess it’s easier to get a cheap cliche I-didn’t-know-what-to-get-you present when it’s discounted and you can save it for next year or give it as a late gift.
Clearly, not everyone is an amazing gift giver like myself. You know being edgy works to my advantage
-Michele
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